Introduction
For us to better understand how a possible client struggling with addiction might feel or think, the Abstinence Project is designed to provide us with a hands-on learning experience (Dice et al., 2019). It was a chance to test our ability to empathize and acknowledge the possibility of an unorthodox road to healing. We may experience erratic ups and downs as we recover. The main goals were not recovery but understanding abstinence’s psychological difficulties and circumstances and participating in a 12-step program.
I abstained from ingesting processed sweets from July 10 until October 10, 2022. Over the whole three months period, I had planned to maintain abstinence. I found it challenging to stop since I was a first-year high school psychologist with a lengthy learning curve, and the scheduling of this assignment made it much more challenging. I was working many hours, taking an internship class, looking for clinical placement, planning my wedding, and studying for the NCE and CPCE, among other things, so it quickly became difficult for me to quit. The stress of work also increased my cravings for sugar. Although I first thought I had no harmful habits I wanted to change, I became instantly conscious of denial. I would justify my desire for sweets by telling myself it was not a huge concern. I have previously abstained from foods like meat and dairy, so I was astonished at how tough it was to stop eating sugar. Even sugar-free beverages like Diet Dr. Pepper were drunk more significantly than before. Work stress prevented me from fully appreciating the abstinence experience of giving up items like ice cream during this period; thus, I failed miserably at the abstinence assignment. However, it did highlight several points for me while I worked on other course material.
I have only been on the abstinence plan for over two weeks. At that period, despite being a costly habit, I boosted my consumption of other indulgences like a simple hot cappuccino. I also consumed a lot of sugar-free goods. I told myself that having a few little candies was not the awful thing I could ever do for myself because the beginning of the academic year had caused so much anxiety. I would tell myself, “Well, I am not drunk.” While working in education, I discovered that many people enjoy providing baked goods containing much sugar. One day, a parent brought in a warm, freshly made dutch cheese bread braid, and I could feel my scorn if I could not sample it, even just a little. I started to notice how being among people and my surroundings affected me. Then, other more fundamental concerns that were in play were my stress management techniques and another fundamental issue that may be problematic: a slight food addiction. While I can eat reasonably and in moderation and also exercise, I can say that I care about food more than the typical person. For me, eating makes life more enjoyable and intriguing. I could also see how my ADHD contributed to the situation since the idea of writing made me irritable besides everything else on my plate. I was also irritated with myself since I had enrolled for this course, although I did not need it to be complete. Also, I deal with extremely demanding parents and children, and there often appears to be an endless stream of emails to answer and fires to put out. In many different people’s lives, I can understand how stress and burnout can result in addiction. Wherever I looked, I was just as upset.
During this time, I managed to persuade myself that, as long as I maintain a healthy diet, exercise, and engage in other self-care activities, having a little treat now and then is not harmful because the office had a backlog. We had seen many more students in crisis than usual (25 students had suicidal thoughts in the first nine weeks of school). As I indulged in forbearances at the beginning of the abstinence project, I felt terrible, but as the stress persisted and time passed, the guilt gradually vanished.
Before this project, I had studied in my lectures about motivating and convincing customers to change and the phases of change and commitment. In some respects, I recall instances from my early years when I went through shifts in dedication, when I used to be obsessed with calorie consumption and exercise to maintain a good BMI level. A part of me was also fighting against this because I did not want to lapse into compulsive control as I had in the past. I should have chosen something different, such as social media, instead of food. As a result of my decision to refrain from anything beneficial given my past, which is another factor to consider when working with clients, I do not believe it.
Also, I had the opportunity to witness firsthand the internal battle that someone who is struggling with addiction faces when trying to quit using drugs or alcohol by themselves. I did not seek counseling, work with anybody, or openly discuss this during this period. I downplayed this issue in many ways since I was preoccupied with many other essential things. This made it clear how hard it would be to succeed in the project without avoiding significant stressors and increasing my mindfulness. Apart from that, I saw that if I gave up one sweet treat, I would have another, such as a hot latte or a Diet Dr. Pepper from Sonic with extra ice.
The conclusion of the three months made me realize that many people need longer than this in a treatment program to successfully overcome addiction, relapse, and all of its complexities (Kelly et al., 2019). Even though a large portion of the American diet has addictive properties, it is straightforward to deceive oneself into thinking that everything is fine and that life is short and, therefore, one should live in the moment. My abstinence experiment was eye-opening; however, I did not manage it very well. During this effort, I was forced to think about others who may have hardships due to a more severe addiction. That made me wonder if at least some other individuals would have the same ideas I did throughout my abstinence project, even though I know this experiment is not comparable to an extensive inpatient treatment program. Since they may have lacked the money to shell out for therapeutic intervention, I grieved that individuals genuinely prepared to alter their lives could not obtain the required assistance. This highlighted the importance of anonymous groups and social support outside treatment institutions in sustaining and improving recovery (Pettersen et al., 2019). This also made me consider how we, as a society, frequently fail to assist those in need at their most challenging times.
I have conducted this experiment differently and thought about addiction several times. Since I was seven, I have never seen my biological dad, who battled aggressive meth abuse throughout his young adulthood. Now that his brain is so fried, conversing with him is depressing. When I speak to him directly, his sentences sound much like Ozzy Osbourne’s, and his thinking is incredibly jumbled and unclear. I have considered that addictions may sneak up on people and can damage many people in many ways (Palm, 2022). For quite a while, even as a young boy, I had difficulty understanding why someone would choose to begin taking meth someday, particularly given the efforts of all the anti-drug organizations. From my perspective, this was not all that unlike anyone riding down the street on a bicycle with a hook in the tire, smashing onto the pavement, and then wailing about it. When it relates to certain things, I just had this portion of me that believes that, on occasion, the user might decide to take a substance for the initial time. Addictions arise in many ways and take many shapes, but I could always gather that.
At some point, it is possible that my father had the thought, “Yes, this is not a smart option, and it could damage my children.” Notwithstanding that the thought had only just entered my head, I nonetheless carried it out. He was always regarded as quite intelligent and studied computer programming, so I suppose he had ideas about action and results. I recognize that he most likely acted and reacted due to activating his limbic system, which is why he made many bad decisions. I still struggle deeply with it because it is well-known what meth does to the body and brain. While I never had the privilege of having both loving parents as a child, my dad always did. I often reflect that I could never picture myself doing meth. I believe that, in some ways, witnessing Dad make so many mistakes helped me to grasp what is essential in life entirely. In my viewpoint, anyone who chooses to use methamphetamine one day after deciding not to use it before is somewhat analogous to someone who chooses to ice select their skull once a day after deciding not to use it previously. Because of this, I think that though I have many highly empathetic parts, I also have many portions that are upset and wounded by that subject since I need to recover. Somehow, my annoyance with this project brought those parts of me to the surface. Generally, I have compassion for those battling addiction, especially when the topic is meth.
I have gained knowledge about what addicts go through daily as they go through the incredibly challenging and exhausting process of getting clean during this process. They have it much more complicated than I do because all I gave up was manufactured carbohydrates, but I got a little idea of what they experienced. I was already aware of how to become clean and the difficulties that addicts face before this procedure, but not from my point of view. I had just witnessed a member of my family struggle for over twelve years with an addiction to processed sweets. I can now be a better addiction counselor since I have personally gone through the process of giving up a substance. Besides the subject of treatment, the most significant thing I have learned from this is how mentally resilient I am—much more significant than I ever expected.
References
Dice, T. F., Carlisle, K., & Byrd, R. (2019). Students’ perspectives of experiential learning in the course of an addiction. Teaching and Supervision in Counseling, 1(1), 6.
Kelly, J. F., Greene, M. C., Bergman, B. G., White, W. L., & Hoeppner, B. B. (2019). How many recovery attempts does it take to resolve an alcohol or drug problem successfully? Estimates and correlates from a national study of recovering US adults. Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research, 43(7), 1533-1544.
Palm, F. (2022). Lacanian Psychoanalysis, Addiction, and Enjoyment. Body & Society, 1357034X221134438.
Pettersen, H., Landheim, A., Skeie, I., Biong, S., Brodahl, M., Oute, J., & Davidson, L. (2019). How social relationships influence substance use disorder recovery: a collaborative narrative study. Substance abuse: research and treatment, 13, 1178221819833379.
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