For me, conflict is when you are trying to accomplish something or reach a particular goal and, in the process, cross paths with another individual with goals differing from yours or who is trying to do or want something else. To me, it is not all about fighting; instead, it encompasses that feeling when things are not okay between two or more individuals and tension exists in the air. However, it is sometimes a good thing. It is an opening for a problem to be solved or a difference to be bridged. It also combines frustration, challenge, and sometimes even opportunity. However, given that people do not always see eye to eye in everything, I expect others to define it differently. Some might define it as chaos or trouble. It ultimately goes down to whom you ask and the situations one has been through.
Communication can significantly affect people’s relationships and is always at the heart of sparking conflicts. It can come about when we are not listening to each other, and our body language sends the wrong signal, making the second party feel dismissed or offended(Coleman et al., 2014). It could also cause conflicts when we, for example, fail to make known what is bothering us or when we come on too strong, pointing fingers and blaming others. During communication, others may choose to shut down and avoid talking about the issue altogether, eventually making all things worse. Thus, such everyday faults in communication can eventually cause flare-ups in human beings, leading to conflicts.
How we speak to and even listen can either break or make the way we relate with other people better, be it with a friend, a coworker, siblings or partner. When we listen to what they say, we can give or offer our genuine and honest opinions and thoughts, showing that we value their perspectives. This not only builds trust but also makes us bond more. It is usually those little things that make our connections strong. However, a wedge is built between us when we decide to avoid those tough conversations, judge one another or shut down. This kind of interaction can hurt others, and they might withdraw from the relationship. How we choose to express ourselves will determine whether things get out of control or if they get to be resolved. So, whether over coffee with a partner or friend or in a heated argument, what we say will shape how we relate.
Diversity in gender, culture, age, and other given individual attributes can consistently brew conflicts in our interactions with others. It is mainly because we all see things differently. A good example is the expectations society places on both women and men. Also, the different generations in which we are brought up can bring about power struggles and misunderstandings, especially in workplaces and even families(Hocker & Wilmot, 2022), when it comes to race and or ethnicity, where there are injustices and inequalities, hurtful misunderstandings and conflicts can brew up. Similarly, culture can shape how we showcase ourselves and express ourselves. As a result, our individual inherent qualities can shape how we relate to each other, and we should mainly learn to understand and embrace everyone’s perspectives as they have different experiences.
In conclusion, listening is an excellent way to handle interpersonal conflicts. When an individual tries to open up, listen without jumping to conclusions. Always try to show that you understand their point of view and validate how they feel. This can go a long way in diffusing tension and reaching a common ground. It should be about creating a space where everyone feels respected and valued.
References
Coleman, P. T., Deutsch, M., & Marcus, E. C. (2014). The handbook of conflict resolution: theory and practice. Jossey-Bass.
Hocker, J. L., & Wilmot, W. W. (2022). Interpersonal conflict (11th ed.). Mcgraw-Hill Education.
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