SECTION 1: INTRODUCTION
Parental care in children’s mental health and development is considered one of the most important factors that assist in fostering the social and cognitive abilities of children. According to Mao, Zang, & Zhang (2020), the absence of parental care in early childhood has an adverse impact on children’s development in their behaviors, health aspects, and learning and school performance. For example, the long-term absence of a mother adversely affects the school performance of the children left behind (Fatima, Bashir, Khan, et al., 2012). Also, absence of a father also causes some behavioral problems for the child left behind. Turney & Goodsell (2018) identified that most causes of parental absences involve death, divorce and separation, internal and international migration, and career demands. Parental absence has negative effects on children’s mental health and development. For instance, the delinquency of children, and especially boys, has its root cause in parental absence. Viet & Hoang (2021) opined that the problem associated with not having a parent in a child’s life can be impactful as this can cause increased cases of a child becoming a psychotic delinquent.
Parental absence has an impact on the psychological and physical outcomes of a child. Zhang (2012) showed that parental absence is responsible for causing ills and costs involving 90% of runaway and homeless children, 70% of children in prison and jails, and 75% of children placed in substance abuse treatment centers. Oyango & Mbugua (2022) indicated that children who lack parental presence involve themselves in group activities and peer influence that adversely impact their behaviors and psychosocial development. According to the authors, the development of perception in children depends on whether they lost either parent due to death, divorce, and other factors, and at what age.
This study seeks to examine whether parental absence has an impact on the behavior and mental health and development of children. The objective of the study is to create what can be done to enhance parental physical and emotional presence. Based on this objective, this study answered the following research questions: To what extent are parents absent from their children? What challenges do children with absent parents face in life? In what ways does parents’ absence affect children’s development and behavior? What can be done to encourage parents to be emotionally present for their children?
SECTION 2: Why do parents absent from their children?
Turney & Goodsell (2018) indicated that parental absence has an impact on children’s development as the affected children experience less healthy mental status, reduced efforts in school, and a higher risk of underachievement. Mao, Zang, & Zhang (2020) noted that while schools are expected to play the responsibility of instilling and maintaining good behavior among children, parents too have the role to ensure their children’s well-being. Parents are expected to instill confidence and discipline into their children especially by being emotionally and physically present to them and avoiding rewarding negative behaviors (Cabrera, Volling, & Barr, 2018). However, most Parents are faced with serious challenges in bringing up their children.
Today parenting has become a difficult task for most parents (Oyango & Mbugua, 2022). A lot of changes have taken place in society. The way of living, preferences, and concerns have changed completely over the years. A common trend being seen is that parents are working to stabilize their families financially (Turney & Goodsell, 2018). It is therefore becoming increasingly difficult for parents to strike a balance between work and children. Because of this, most parents have adopted newer parenting styles. Viet & Hoang (2021) identified the lack of time as one of the major challenges facing parents today. Parents have to do a lot of duties like doing household chores and going to work, and these leave them with little time to handle their children. Onyango & Mbugua (2022) disclosed that nowadays many children are increasingly diverting towards doing wrong things because they lack moral values as parents are committed elsewhere and hardly get time to teach their children the fundamental values.
While nowadays there are more comforts and facilities in society, happiness and peace are wanting. Turney & Goodsell (2018) revealed that many families are disintegrating because of a lack of time for one another. Children suffer when they don’t find their parents around. Sometimes, children develop an inferiority complex when they don’t find adequate love and support from their parents (Mao, Zang, & Zhang, 2020). Since parents stay most of the time at work, they often lack effective bonding with their children. As a result, children may become hesitant to open up in front of their parents because of a lack of emotional connection (Fatima, Bashir, Khan, et al., 2012). This explains the reason why children are increasingly seeking support from peers instead of approaching their parents. When children are not attached to their parents, they feel lonely and sad.
Parental absence can be a temporary or permanent absence of one or more parents. Zhang (2012) explained that such absence could occur due to death, divorce, sickness, personality disorder, or other reasons like educational, career goals, and job endeavors, among others. This can have a huge impact on a child’s mental health, depending on their age at the time when separation, divorce, death, etc., took place and the length of time involved (Cabrera, Volling, & Barr, 2018). The impacts can vary and behavioral problems can occur in a child’s life. According to Onyango & Mbugua (2022), the absence of a loving, warm, and appropriate parental figure means that children may develop numerous psychological, emotional, and personality difficulties. While every situation is different and factors facing the lives of children with absent parents are also different, these children often grow into teenagerhood and adulthood with problems.
Many theorists such as Ainsworth (1978) and Mahler (1975) identified parental emotional presence in growing children as a very important force in shaping children’s character. John Bowlby’s attachment theory (2009) showed the significance of parental emotional warmth to children and demonstrated how its absence may make children grow with serious emotional imbalances. As per Bowlby, parental emotional presence to children means parents providing quality time to be with their children, including being passionate and supportive to them, showing interest in their children’s needs, and also being present to them by giving them love, tender care, and necessary warmth as well as protecting them from psychological pain (Holmes, 2014). Bowlby’s theory encourages parents to spend plenty of time with their children, and the experience would be caring and loving, which is an indication of parental emotional presence. Parental absence denies children the warmth that enables them to develop through emotional and psychological maturity. This demonstrates that the emotional presence of parents in early childhood offers the foundation for secure development that could be manifested in a well-disciplined adult.
According to the behaviorist Skinner’s operant conditioning theory, the key influence on human behavior is learning from our environment (Skinner, 2011). This means that a loving, caring parent who is emotionally present to his children will reinforce positive behavior in the children by showering them with love and care and rewarding them for good behavior. On the other hand, a parent who does not give emotional love to her child breeds an adult who lacks focus, is bitter with self and life, and lacks trust for self and others. Parental presence thus is important in assisting a child to grow in being confident, trusting himself and others, and seeing the world with positivity (Viet & Hoang, 2021). Children with more severe problems are those who have experienced serious parenting failures majorly caused by the lack of emotional parental presence.
According to Fatima, Bashir, Khan, et al. (2012), parents with poor working conditions like lack of freedom to make decisions at work or act independently and long working hours are likely to be more bad-tempered and moody at home. Zhang (2012) explained that although physically present, such parents may not give the emotional warmth necessary for their children’s positive growth. Their abusive presence and lack of effective parenting skills could adversely impact children’s growth. Mao, Zang, & Zhang (2020) further revealed that many parents have preoccupied themselves with the pursuits of wealth acquisition activities to an extent that their emotional presence to their children becomes a huge challenge.
SECTION 3: Challenges facing children
According to Fatima, Bashir, Khan, et al. (2012), the absence of parental love and care may put the affected children into vulnerable conditions as the development, well-being, and safety of these children could be threatened. Cabrera, Volling, & Barr (2018) identified that poverty, lack of nutrition, care, affection, education, psychological support, and adequate shelter are some of the issues that may increase the vulnerability of these children. The vulnerability exposed to these children varies due to various reasons such as the death of one or both parents, some children losing primary caregivers because of divorce and separation, and others also don’t live with their parents due to career demands and internal/ international migration issues (Oyango & Mbugua, 2022). As a result, many children may live with their extended families while others end up living in orphanages, rescue centers, children’s homes, baby homes, and child care centers. Mao, Zang, & Zhang (2020) opined that these children may lack individual support and care from their primary caregivers and also may lack access to quality education, health, or family support services.
Turney & Goodsell (2018) said these children could be at risk of being abandoned, neglected, and abused or their parents may lack adequate resources to take proper care of them. Zhang (2012) mentioned that children who don’t have their primary caretakers could be more vulnerable to violence, exploitation, discrimination, and health risks. The consequences of living without a parent or both parents are devastating. Such children may end up living in orphanages and with extended families. The delivery of protection and care in extended families and rescue centers is normally insufficient (Viet, & Hoang, 2021). Children require individualized attention and care, which they may effectively get from their primary caregivers. Neglect normally put children with absent parents at increased risk of exploitation, violence, and physical, emotional, and sexual abuse. These may children encounter challenges in accessing basic life-saving services like education and healthcare.
SECTION 4: Effects of emotionally absent parents on children’s behavior
Fatima, Bashir, Khan, et al. (2012) disclosed that the absence of parental love and care in the critical formative five years could breed children with very low self-esteem. Onyango & Mbugua (2022) said that children growing up in the absence of parental love may have low self-esteem/confidence, be less trusting, and involve in misbehaviors (like hiding themselves away from social situations, stopping trying new things, and avoiding things they find challenging) as part of efforts to salvage their desperate unconscious need and image. Mao, Zang, & Zhang (2020) said that children with low self-esteem may suffer from personality disorders such as antisocial personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, Schizoid, obsessive-compulsive personality disorder, and others. Such disorders could influence a child to behave in ways that are unacceptable by a school, amounting to misbehavior. Nowadays most parents don’t commit themselves to bring up their children with the parental love and affection necessary to provide children with stability for development and growth (Viet, & Hoang, 2021). Many parents could be unaware of their impact or are affected by poverty and these largely deny children the guidance they deserve from their parents.
Children whose parents had divorced may encounter challenges in the form of anxiety, antisocial behavior, depression, anger, anxiety, irritability, emotional instability, restlessness, mental disturbance, delinquency, and physiological disorders (Cabrera, Volling, & Barr, 2018). These problems may occur as a result of child neglect (parents’ failure to provide for a child’s basic needs). Turney & Goodsell (2018) explained that this neglect could be in the form of emotional abandonment, educational abandonment, and physical abandonment. Emotional abandonment involves a case whereby a parent(s) does not pay attention to cater to children’s emotional needs. Fatima, Bashir, Khan, et al. (2021) disclosed that although at least 1 in 7 children have experienced child abuse or neglect in the previous year in the US, this is underestimated as many cases are unreported.
Turney & Goodsell (2018) said parental emotional absence (neglect) could cause severe mental, verbal, and psychological injuries to children and such trauma turns into serious behavioral, cognitive, and emotional problems during adulthood. The authors opined that these problems may influence children to engage in antisocial behaviors, a dropout of school, and end up living on the streets. Cabrera, Volling, & Barr (2018) said parents should make their children feel emotionally secure and avoid anything that may cause psychological pain to them. Cabrera, Volling, & Barr (2018) identified some of the things that parents are doing which may cause psychological pain to their children such as lack of interest or concern for their children’s problems, showing anger and aggression in the presence of their children, failure to show love and affection to their children, lack of effective communication to guide their children, being poor role models to their children, and giving children excess freedom and allowing them to do whatever they want. Viet & Hoang (2021) highlighted that children who grow up without emotionally available parents are likely to associate themselves with illicit drug use and alcohol, and engage in juvenile delinquent behaviors and criminal cases as part of efforts to fulfill the lack of their parental attachment. The authors also said such children may think about suicide and may attempt to engage in sexual promiscuity to fill the psychological gap that was not provided by the parents.
Parental emotional presence is important in shaping children’s behavior (Cabrera, Volling, & Barr, 2018). Parental absence from their children can be manifested in children’s lives in the form of a lack of physical health benefits, self-control, and self-esteem. However, Onyango & Mbugua (2022), pointed out that the presence of some parents in their children may be harmful as these parents lack effective parenting skills. For example, parents who provide children with material possessions and allow their children to do whatever they want to do may end up spoiling the future of their children. Onyango & Mbugua (2022) explained further that some parents’ understanding of being present to their children can be erroneous, like in cases whereby parents superfluously provide material things to their children, such extremes may erode the discipline of children.
SECTION 5: What can be done to address this problem?
Today many parents believe that the best way to raise children is by providing excessive material possessions to their children (Zhang, 2012). As a result, many children have turned to see their parents as simply material providers and that perception has eroded the mutual relationships that are expected to exist between parents and their children.
According to Fatima, Bashir, Khan, K et al. (2012), when children learn about their family background from their parents, and not from the house helps, relatives, or neighbors, they tend to develop a deep sense of inner security within themselves and create a deep sense of trust in their parents. But problems (loss of self-esteem, inner security, etc.,) would occur if a child learns the truth about their family origins from somebody else and not from their parents.
Zhang (2012) suggested that parents should understand that domestic conflict can cause problems for their children. Therefore, parents should avoid expressing negative emotions (like becoming aggressive and getting angry in front of their children) as this may affect their children’s cognitive and emotional development.
Onyango & Mbugua (2022) pointed out that while parents’ death, divorce and separation, internal and international migration, and career demands are factors causing serious emotional stress to children, some of these are unavoidable, especially death. Parents should do their best to avoid separating themselves from their children. According to Viet & Hoang (2021), during early childhood development, children should have a good experience with a warm parent, caregiver, or guardian as this would enable them to develop the appropriate skills (the ability to understand the rules of social communication, connect with others, and to be emotionally available, etc.) required for later in life.
Ways in which parents can be emotionally present to their children include listening and talking to their children and giving them full attention and being engaged in mutual conservation, spending quality time with their children and developing that as a routine (that could be during breakfast or supper time), play with their children and have a good time with them, and share life with them and let them know how they feel and what they are doing (Turney & Goodsell, 2018). Parents should also teach their children about patience. Parents should help their children cope with the times they would be away by making them understand that they will not be around at all times (Zhang, 2012). Parents should also let their children know that they will not always get what they want.
Lastly, parents should know that the family is the foundation of every society, if they mess up with it, then they mess with the entire society (Fatima, Bashir, Khan, et al., 2012). Whatever their children do in school is a reflection of what they see taking place in their homes. Parents should therefore take their parenting responsibility with seriousness.
References
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