Part 1: Understanding Dialectical Tensions
The dialectical tensions are built-in contradictions that are present during the relationships and which push people apart while creating an atmosphere of uneasiness or discomfort. This tension can be manifested in a myriad of interpersonal relationships, inclusive of romantic, friendship, family, and professional relationships (Maricopa, 2021). Dialectical conflicts in relationships can be shown through autonomous/connection, novelty/predictability, and openness/closedness examples.
The romantic relationship often encounters the autonomy/connection dialectical tension when the couples conflict in their need for some space with the experience of connectedness (Maricopa, 2021). For example, one spouse might like to be one the company of friends and carry out their projects, while the other spouse might feel neglected and seek more quality time with that person. The difference between the two can be handled by practicing the process of integration, where partners find ways to interact and talk about their individual needs, as well as ensuring that the relationship is still prioritized.
In friendship relationships, the novelty/predictability tension can be an issue when friends try to find the right balance between exploring something new and maintaining consistency and the status quo. For example, friends may face the conflict between trying something adventurous and continuing their old traditions (Maricopa, 2021). With the use of the segmentation strategy, friends may jump into various new experiences and still maintain the usual activities that bring cheer and joy to the friendship.
Within family relationships, the dialectical tension between openness and closedness may emerge when family members try to achieve a balance between sharing their feelings and thoughts as well as setting personal boundaries (Maricopa, 2021). For instance, this can manifest when a mother might find it difficult to uphold open and frank communication with her teenage child while at the same time respecting the teen’s need for independence and confidentiality. Prioritization may turn out to be a successful managerial approach in this case, ensuring that family members can still decide what is most important to them from openness, at the same time establishing boundaries around private subjects.
Part 2: Strategies for Managing Dialectical Tensions
To practically deal with the dialogue of tensions, individuals might utilize different strategies. Among those three strategies, we will focus on integration, segmentation, and prioritization. Integration is the art of doing neither one nor the other but the middle way. For instance, in a romantic relationship where autonomy/connection tension exists, couples may be in agreement on a fixed time for their personal space while creating that to connect at the same time (Maricopa, 2021). This particular way is intended to cultivate a profound equilibrium that fills up both the social and individual sides.
Segmentation is about packing together various elements of a relationship that are in conflict. For example, a person in a professional environment could separate work-related stress from personal life by not bringing up work conflicts at home. This approach handles the entanglement and the individual recognition of each pressure not allowing one aspect to overshadow the other. Lastly, prioritization implies giving importance to different factors at any given moment. In the family phenomenon of balancing predictability and novelty tensions during challenging times, keeping the balance of stability at such times may be a vital route to consider (Maricopa, 2021). This approach takes into account the fact that tensions are changing and allows to adoption of measures accordingly as they arise.
Part 3: Reflecting on Personal Experiences
Through the dialectical tensions I have been through in my life, one relationship that stands out is an old friendship from my childhood. One feature that was highlighted in our lives was the conflict between novelty and predictability because the way our lives went differed. I was enthusiastic and excited about new experiences and new people, while my friend Martha was more into an already-known routine and a stable friendship we had.
I had challenges in navigating conflict in the beginning as I tried to find common areas. Contrary to that, through integration, I found many ways of doing so without interfering with the usual schedule of my friend who needed exact schedule. For example, the two of us endeavored to explore new hobbies together but also continued our weekly movie evenings. This strategy proved effective because we combined the excitement and adventure with the security and certainty of our relationship, leading to the deepening of our bond.
Part 4: Applying Strategies in Future Relationships
I aim to put forward the newfound strategies that my past relationships and research have provided me in my future relationships. For example, if the tension between predictability and novelty is at work, I will endeavor to find a balance between monotonous tasks and time given to creative tasks. Integration that responds to the notion by including the growth and creativity component will ensure stability. Moreover, I understand communication as the major tool for embracing discordant views. Dialogue helps to make things clear in terms of understanding the demands and expectations of all the participants. By placing segmentation only when needed and emphasizing critical tensions at the beginning, I will try to achieve healthier and more sustainable relationships.
Reference
Maricopa. (2021). Exploring Relationship Dynamics. 6.6 Relationship Dialectics. https://open.maricopa.edu/com110/chapter/6-7-relationship-dialectics/
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