The term “emotional intelligence” (EI) is used to describe a person’s ability to identify, understand, and manage their own emotions and the emotions of others (McCormack, 2023). On the other hand, empathy is taking another person’s perspective and understanding their feelings and emotions. The ability to understand and manage our emotions and those of others is an essential skill for success in any field. Emotional intelligence (EI) and empathy are two of the most important skills to help us become emotionally intelligent individuals. They are essential for success in many areas of life, from relationships to careers. However, it can be challenging to understand how these two concepts interact and how to cultivate them. This synthesis paper examines the literature on emotional intelligence and empathy, exploring how the two concepts are related and how one can develop these important skills.
A Reflection on My ESCI-U Results
In order to measure my emotional intelligence, I recently took the Emotional and Social Competency Inventory-University (ESCI-U) test. It measures emotional intelligence on four scales: Self-Awareness, Self-Management, Social Awareness, and Relationship Management. According to my test results, I have high self-awareness, with an above-average score on the scale. This means I can identify my emotions accurately and use them to inform my decisions and behaviors. In terms of self-management, I scored slightly below average. This means that while I can identify and understand my emotions, I may have difficulty managing them effectively in certain situations. On the social awareness scale, I scored below average on understanding reasons for other people’s actions (McCormack, 2023). This suggests that I may need to be more attuned to the emotions and needs of others. Finally, on the relationship management scale, I scored average. This means that while I can create meaningful connections with people and understand how our interactions impact one another, I can still improve in this area. Overall, my ESCI-U results indicate that I have an above-average level of self-awareness and can use this to further enhance my skills in managing relationships and understanding the emotions of others.
Taking this assessment was a daunting task, as I knew it would give me an honest assessment of my emotional intelligence. It was challenging to face the possibility that I may not be as emotionally intelligent as I am or that I may need to work on certain areas of my emotional skillset. At the same time, it was also empowering to see how accurately the test pinpointed areas of strength and weaknesses in my emotional intelligence. Overall, the assessment gave me valuable insights into my emotional capabilities and a better understanding of what areas I can work on to become more emotionally aware.
My self-reported results from the ESCI-U survey were quite different from the raters’ results. According to my self-reported results, I scored very high in terms of interpersonal, intrapersonal, stress management, adaptability, and general mood. However, according to the raters’ results, I scored low in interpersonal, intrapersonal, and stress management (McCormack, 2023). This indicates that I may not be aware of how I come across to others in certain situations and how my emotions affect my relationships. At the same time, I scored higher than average in terms of empathy and emotional intelligence. This indicates that I can understand how other people are feeling in different contexts and respond with appropriate emotions. This skill can help me build better relationships and communicate more effectively with others. Reflecting on these differences, I realized I might have been too self-assured in my self-reported results. I underestimated the effects of my emotions and the way others perceive them. This is a lesson I can take with me moving forward as I strive to become more aware of my emotions and their impact on my interactions with others. I can better communicate with others, build better relationships, and increase my overall emotional intelligence by being mindful of my emotions.
According to Hall and Hocker et al. survey from Module 1, my personal conflict style preference is integration. This means I prefer to resolve conflicts by understanding and to accommodate both sides of an issue. The results of my ESCI-U test suggest that I can identify and understand my emotions accurately and use them to inform my decisions and behaviors. In terms of self-management, I scored slightly below average. This may mean that I am only sometimes successfully managing my emotions effectively when facing a conflict.
On the social awareness scale, I scored below average. This suggests that I may need to be more attuned to the emotions and needs of others. As a result, this may make it more difficult for me to reach an integration outcome about any given conflict. Lastly, on the relationship management scale, I scored average. This means that while I can create meaningful connections with people and understand how our interactions impact one another, I can still improve in this area to resolve conflicts better. Emotional intelligence plays an important role in how we respond to conflicts. People with high levels of emotional intelligence are better able to recognize, understand, and manage their emotions and those of others (Goleman, 1997). This self-awareness helps them to be more aware of the impact of their words and actions, which can help them to navigate conflicts better. They are also better equipped to assess the context of a situation and consider alternative perspectives, which can lead to more effective problem-solving and resolution.
Furthermore, people with higher levels of emotional intelligence tend to be more empathetic and compassionate, which can help to reduce the intensity of conflicts by creating an atmosphere of understanding and respect. They can better recognize and address the needs of all parties involved, leading to more constructive conversations and successful outcomes.
My low score on the social awareness scale surprised me most about my ESCI-U results. I was not expecting to score so low in this area as I usually think of myself as a compassionate and caring person. The area from the assessment that is most important for me to try to improve as I work to become a peacemaker is my social awareness. Understanding the emotions and needs of others is essential in order to navigate difficult conversations and find peaceful resolutions. It is important to be aware of the emotions and needs of others because it allows us to make fair and considerate decisions. It also helps us develop meaningful relationships and create an atmosphere of trust and understanding.
My action plan for improving my social awareness includes reading books on emotional intelligence, practicing active listening, and engaging in self-reflection. I will also practice being more mindful of the people around me and their feelings. I will also take time to recognize my emotions to better empathize with others. Lastly, I will strive to build stronger relationships with those around me by actively working on communication, respect, and collaboration. As I continue to work towards becoming a peacemaker, these practices and improvements will lead to greater success in my relationships and interactions with others. As my emotional intelligence level increases, so does my capacity for empathy and understanding, which leads to deeper connections and healthier relationships. With this newfound understanding, I can be a more patient and kinder person who is better equipped to address conflicts and disagreements peacefully (Shapiro, 2002). Ultimately, by increasing my ability to understand others, I can put myself in someone else’s shoes and see the world through their perspective, which is essential if we want to create a culture of peace and understanding.
What Are My Feelings on Brown’s Definitions of These Words? Do I Agree or Disagree with Her?
I agree with Brené Brown’s definitions of empathy and sympathy. Empathy involves understanding another person’s feelings and emotions and connecting with them on a deeper level (TEDtalksDirector, 2011). It is about taking the time to try to understand someone’s experience from their point of view and show them support. On the other hand, sympathy involves feeling sorry for someone and trying to make them feel better but not necessarily making an effort to understand their experience (TEDtalksDirector, 2011). It can often be experienced as distant or unhelpful, leaving the other person feeling isolated and misunderstood. I believe that empathy is key to connecting people and building meaningful relationships. When you take the time to empathize with someone, it helps create a sense of understanding and trust. It also allows people to build meaningful connections, even with different experiences or perspectives.
On the other hand, sympathy can be damaging because it implies that someone else’s experience is less important than ours. It can lead to judgment and disconnection. Therefore, empathy fuels connection, while sympathy drives disconnection. This concept of empathy is a cornerstone of successful relationship dynamics and can be seen in social sciences such as psychology and sociology. For example, research has found that when employees are provided with emotional intelligence training (which focuses on developing skills such as self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills), they tend to perform better at work, have increased job satisfaction, and form stronger relationships with their co-workers (Behm & Carter, 2021). This demonstrates how crucial it is for individuals to possess strong emotional intelligence skills (which include empathy towards others) to achieve success in personal and professional relationships (Hoffman, n.d). Furthermore, studies suggest that these benefits are seen at work and extend into our everyday lives, improving our ability to navigate complex social situations such as difficult conversations and conflicts.
My opinion on this statement is that empathy is an essential factor in resolving conflicts. With empathy, it is easier for two parties to understand each other’s point of view, which can lead to misunderstandings and escalate the situation. For example, in a recent workplace conflict between an employee and a manager, the manager failed to empathize with the employee and responded angrily, which only worsened the situation. Without empathy, both parties in a conflict cannot find common ground and come to a resolution.
Hocker et al. (2021) state, “Transformation of conflict depends on empathy” (p. 194). What are my feelings on this statement?
The statement is right because the importance of empathy in resolving conflicts has been supported by research, and empathy is related to conflict-handling styles that facilitate constructive outcomes. Additionally, Lewis et al. (2010) found that individuals with higher emotional intelligence are more successful in managing interpersonal conflicts. This suggests that having a high level of emotional intelligence and the ability to empathize with another person can play a crucial role in resolving conflicts. Therefore, empathy is a key component for resolving interpersonal conflicts. In order to foster positive relationships and communication, one must develop empathy skills and create a safe environment where others can express their feelings without fear of judgment or retribution (Shapiro, 2010). Additionally, individuals should strive to stay calm in tense situations and focus on understanding rather than trying to prove their point. In order to better manage their emotions during a disagreement, individuals should practice self-awareness and self-regulation strategies such as deep breathing or counting to ten before speaking (Guerrero, 2013). Finally, being open to listening and engaging in dialogue is important when resolving conflicts. When discussing issues or disagreements, we must keep an open mind and focus on finding solutions that satisfy everyone’s needs while staying true to our values.
Hoffman’s Assertion, Christian Teachings, and Influence of a Higher Level of Empathy
Hoffman asserts that the ability to empathize is the foundation of all morality and is powerful (Hoffman, n.d). It speaks to our innate need to connect with and understand each other and our capacity for compassion. The teachings of Christianity and the Apostle Paul, in particular, also support this idea by emphasizing that people should be able to both celebrate and sorrow with those around them (Neely, 2020). Empathy for another person can profoundly influence any interpersonal conflict, as it allows you to see things from the other person’s perspective and try to understand their motivations. By having a higher level of empathy for the other person involved in the conflict, you can better express your needs and desires in a way that can foster understanding and resolution.
Additionally, by showing empathy, you are demonstrating respect for the other person, which can help create an atmosphere of trust and mutual respect that is necessary for any successful negotiation. This can lead to more productive conversations about the dispute since each party will feel understood and valued. Moreover, being empathetic does not mean you agree with or condone what the other person has done; rather, it means one is trying to put themself in their shoes and understand where they are coming from. This practice of active listening can then move towards a more collaborative solution where everyone feels heard and respected. Finally, empathy enables us to feel connected to others, which can inspire us to act kindlier towards them even if we have disagreements. Ultimately, empathy has great potential to provide insight and healing during times of conflict.
In conclusion, success in any social life and career requires the capacity to comprehend and control one’s emotions and those of others. People with higher emotional intelligence better handle interpersonal conflicts. With empathy, it can be easier for two sides to comprehend one another’s points of view, which can cause misunderstandings and escalate the situation. This viewpoint is also supported by Christian teachings, particularly those of the Apostle Paul, who emphasize that people ought to be able to rejoice and grieve with others around them. Empathy allows people to see things from the other person’s perspective and attempt to understand their intentions, which can significantly impact any interpersonal issue.
References
Behm, D. G., & Carter, T. B. (2021). Empathetic factors and influences on physical performance: a topical review. Frontiers in Psychology, 12, 686262.
Goleman, D. (1997). Emotional intelligence: Issues in paradigm building. Bantam Books. Uploaded Material
Guerrero, L. (2013). Emotion and communication in conflict interaction. In The SAGE handbook of conflict communication: Integrating theory, research, and practice (pp. 105-131). SAGE Publications Inc. Uploaded Material
Hoffman, D. (n.d). Feeling List. When You Are Jealousy About Change. Uploaded Material
Lewis, M., Haviland-Jones, J. M., & Barrett, L. F. (Eds.). (2010). Handbook of emotions. Guilford Press. Uploaded Material
McCormack, D. (2023). Emotional and Social Competency Inventory – University Edition Name: Client: Abilene Christian University. Uploaded Material
Neely, A. (2020). Christian Mission. Wipf & Stock Publishers.
Shapiro, D. L. (2002). Negotiating emotions. Conflict Resolution Quarterly, 20(1), 67-82. Uploaded Material
Shapiro, D. L. (2010). Relational identity theory: a systematic approach for transforming the emotional dimension of conflict. American Psychologist, 65(7), 634. Uploaded Material
TEDtalksDirector. (2011, January 3). The power of vulnerability | Brené Brown. YouTube. Retrieved January 28, 2023, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCvmsMzlF7o
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