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Final Communication Paper: He’s Not That Into You


It is possible for the degree of communication that occurs within a relationship to either encourage or inhibit the growth of the connection between its members. The He’s Just Not That Into You! cast worked together on several projects. You made yourself uncomfortable, brought the discussion to a sudden end because you lacked personal interest in the topic being discussed, and got off to a poor start. When I undertake my research, I will pay special attention to the role communication has in forming and breaking down each relationship. My investigation has led me to conclude that The Interpersonal Communication Book, which Joseph A. DeVito wrote, is the only book that offers a comprehensive explanation of all the ideas and theories that may either strengthen or weaken interpersonal ties. This conclusion was reached as a result of the fact that The Interpersonal Communication Book is the only book that offers such an explanation. Pay close attention, in particular, to Chapter 9, since here is where the topics of Interpersonal Relationship Stages, Theories, and Communication are discussed. Paying close attention to this chapter will be quite beneficial. In addition, Chapter 11 is included, which concentrates on handling disagreements with other individuals.

Communication Paper: He’s Just Not That Into You

The narrative of the movie “He’s Just Not That Into You” centered on a group of six couples whose relationships developed either due to honest conversation or a total lack of communication between the partners. One of the couples in the movie is Alex and Gigi, who started as just friends but eventually developed love for one another. Ben and Janine, a loving couple, have been married since they were students at the same institution. Despite Ben’s marriage to Janine, Anna and Ben maintained a strong relationship. Neil and Beth have been an item for the last seven years, but they have chosen to remain together rather than get married owing to Neil’s “beliefs.” Connor and Anna were the “might have been” couple. Even though Connor had affection for Anna, they continued their friendship in the capacity of mutual friends. In the end, Connor and Mary’s professional partnership blossomed into a full-fledged romantic connection without either of them knowing this was happening. Beginnings, middles, and conclusions are three phases different for every relationship. The phases, ideas, and communication of interpersonal relationships, as well as interpersonal conflict and the management of conflict, can support and demonstrate all aspects of a connection.

Gigi and Alex

Characters performed by Justin Long and Ginnifer Goodwin. It all began when Gigi “ran into” Connor at a bar. Gigi valued Alex’s forthrightness and honesty while discussing men’s perspectives on dating and relationships. Both protagonists had characteristics consistent with the Social Exchange Theory since they acted in ways designed to further their interests while also bolstering the bond they were building with one another (DeVito, 2016). Alex found great satisfaction in being Gigi’s sounding board and seeing her come into her own as a person. While Alex was in the office, Gigi felt comfortable calling him, and he was relieved to have the chance to talk to her about her worries. When Gigi called, he always paid attention, no matter where he was or with whom.

As Gigi and her partner’s relationship developed, she started having trouble with interpersonal conflicts that sprang from their shared private worries (DeVito, 2016). Gigi inferred that Alex liked her because of his unrestrained availability and subtle flirting. Gigi, for one, mimicked Alex’s “love signs.” During their first phone conversation, he reportedly said, “Good to hear from you,” and she emphasizes the importance of this detail. When she called again, he answered the phone even though he was with another woman. The two women spoke for a while before the other lady abruptly ended the call. And then Alex invited Gigi to a party at his place, which is what finally made her realize that he was interested in her. When Alex asked her to help him restock the party’s refreshments, she thought he was making her a co-host. Gigi stays to help Alex clean up after the party on purpose. Alex’s “I really have go to bed” is misunderstood by Gigi to be a suggestion that the two of them had a sexual encounter. She then attempted a kiss, which he rejected.

Alex was unable to discern the signals that he was giving to Gigi since she had a propensity to interpret them incorrectly. As a result of this, they arrived at a stage in their relationship where there was no longer any room for growth. Alex is unable to see Gigi’s sensitivity, and as a consequence, he begins to accuse her of overanalyzing the issue rather than letting it to naturally develop in its own time. Gigi prefers to let things take their natural course (Devito & DeVito, 2007). He told her that it was a bad idea to go about meeting potential love partners in such a way and that it would be difficult to find someone compatible. In answer to this, she said that she would have met either her future husband or future wife by the time he arrived. Alex will gradually come to feel regret for his actions, and he will make an effort to make apologies with Gigi, who he will finally come to the understanding that he has grown affections for. Gigi will also come to realize that Alex has acquired feelings for her.

Ben and Janine

Ben and Janine were represented, respectively, by Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Connelly in the film. They are the only married pair in the movie, although neither one of them is really happy with their life together. When Ben was in college, he recalls meeting Janine for the first time. After they had been dating for a time, she told him that they either had to get married or end their relationship. One may conclude that the couple’s marriage was doomed from the very beginning. It is quite evident that Ben and Janine struggle with understanding one another when it comes to communication. Ben is motivated to break his marriage by the emotions he has for Anna, and he makes the effort to do it. You (Ben), according to the Relationship Dialects Theory, desire to be in a relationship, but at the same time, you want the availability of relationships to be rather wide. It’s possible that this lends credence to your case (DeVito, 2016).

While they were married, Ben probably smoked at least once. As Janine’s father had passed away from lung cancer, she was hesitant to trust Ben. When Janine suspected Ben of lying, he was out with someone else. They begin the Six Model Stages of Relationships because they realize they need to work on their connection (DeVito, 2016). They were in the “repair” phase of their relationship when Ben cheated on Janine with Anna and she fought to keep the marriage together. Janine wanted time alone and time with Ben to discuss their issues. Eventually, the couple could no longer communicate with one another. Among Ben’s belongings, Janine discovers a pack of cigarettes. She recalled that Ben had been anxious of late, that she had found the same brand of cigarette in their yard, and that he had promised to give up cigarettes. She decided to end her marriage to Ben after years of becoming distrustful of him, infidelity, and broken promises.

Ben and Anna

Scarlett Johansson played the role of Anna, as well as Ben. After Ben’s intervention won her a reward, Anna and Ben bumped into each other at the grocery store. The Attraction Theory was beginning to make a lot more sense. Ben had an instant attraction to Anna when they were speaking in the plaza outside of the store. He praised her attractiveness by informing her, “I’m married,” which she took as a complement given that she was a hot yoga teacher. During the time that Ben and Anna spent together, Ben made every attempt to be a professional supporter of Anna. Ben did all he could to keep Anna as “just a friend,” but he overheard her talking about her mental health despite his best attempts to keep her that way. The fact that he had a wife did not worry her in the least. This had an important role in the development of their friendship.

Anna’s jealousy drove a wedge between the two parties in their relationship, which ultimately led to the sudden end of the scandalous affair that had been going on between them. She was interested in Ben’s marriage history and wanted to know what qualities she had that Ben found so attractive in her that he wanted to propose to her. Ben’s unhappy wife Janine stormed into his office to have a conversation about the marriage, and he noticed that her level of rage was escalating, so he answered in a manner that was appropriate for the situation. After they had completed their conversation, she exploded into a fit of rage and walked out of the cloakroom. If Ben were to end his marriage to his current wife and start a new life with Anna, as the character in the movie suggests he would do, I think everyone would breathe a sigh of relief (DeVito, 2016). Following the occurrence at work, Anna ceased all communication with him, and his wife filed for divorce as a direct result of this behavior on her part.

Beth and Neil

Beth was portrayed by Ben Affleck, while Neil was portrayed by Jennifer Aniston. They have been dating for seven years but haven’t taken the next logical step in a relationship by getting married. While the rule states that “he’s expected to contact you first,” Beth and Neil were able to get in touch since Beth made the initial call. At work, Beth, Gigi, and Janine discussed gender roles and romantic partnerships. The possibility of being an outlier and the norm in one’s marriage was discussed in one of the conversations. As they continued to converse, Beth recognized that she was an exception to Neil’s generalization that individuals shouldn’t get married. Upon seeing Neil’s new artwork hanging on the wall, Beth launched a full-scale Face-attack. An actual grin (DeVito, 2016). I need you to stop being kind to me unless you’re going to marry me later,” Beth remarked, and he grimaced. Even though Neil tried to reassure Beth by explaining that he doesn’t believe in marriage, Beth ultimately decided to go back home with her parents.

They had only been away for a brief period of time, so when they were reunited, they abstained from physically touching one another. They were now in a position to discuss marriage, but Neil wasn’t very interested in the topic despite the fact that it was on the table. Because both of them were so dependent on the other and were willing to retain an open mind, they had not yet tied the knot when they should have done so. Neil eventually realized why Beth was so keen about getting married after some time had passed (DeVito, 2019). Both Beth’s sadness and her desire to be married were well knowledge to him at this point. Something moved his resolve, which had previously been set on the fact that he would never get married. Prior to this shift, he had been set on the notion that he would never get married. In spite of the fact that his marriage proposal was a complete disaster, he was still set on marrying her.

Connor and Anna

Kevin Connolly portrayed Connor, while the previously stated actor/actress played Anna. Once upon a time, Connor and Anna had feelings for one another. According to my reading of the relationship rules theory, the “be genuine” and “be faithful” principles have been breached (DeVito, 2016). While they were communicating and showing interest in one other, they continued to see other individuals. Anna is never as invested in Connor as he is in her, and this is evident throughout the film. Prior to their breakup, Ben seemed to be her buddy. She was selective about her sexual encounters with Connor, so the two remained “friends with benefits” (DeVito, 2016).

Connor, like Gigi, failed to see Anna’s warning signs, which began popping up almost immediately after they began dating. All during their time together, Kevin kept telling Anna how much he appreciated her. Physical and intellectual attraction drew him to her. Anna’s affection for Connor was inferred from her frequent displays of affection (hugs, kisses, and compliments), which caused Connor to believe that she loved him. Connor and Anna had what he considered to be a reasonably intimate and personal connection in terms of time spent together and conversation before he broached the subject of starting a family with her (Devito, 2016). Obviously, Anna’s feelings for Connor weren’t the same as Connor’s. That was the end of their “friends with benefits” relationship. They had never been so forthright and frank with one another before.

Connor and Mary

Lastly, the actor who has previously portrayed the part of Connor in other productions will be reprising his role in this one, while Drew Barrymore will be playing the part of Mary in this particular production. Their relationship is proof that even the most unpromising of starts can lead to wonderful results. They were familiar with one another as a result of the nature of the professional encounters that took place between them. It is possible to claim, in light of the Social Penetration Theory, that they were engaged in breadth during the whole of their phone conversation on Connor’s real estate attempt. This is because breadth refers to the act of spreading information across a wide area. Throughout the whole of the phone call, the talk was on how Connors should position their advertisements. However, they spent the most of their on-screen time together establishing a professional networking connection since doing so was useful to both of them. This took up the majority of their time together. Mary was responsible for placing Connor’s advertising not just because she was told to but also because doing so would be beneficial to Connor’s company (Trenholm & Jensen, 2008).

Mary and Connor’s relationship strengthened as a direct consequence of Anna’s choice, which brought them closer together. Having this particular facet of connection development taken care of freed up Connor’s attention, which allowed him to concentrate on growing his other connections, most notably the one he had with Mary. When you take into account the fact that Mary and Anna are good friends, the situation becomes stranger. It is likely that Anna and Mary have violated the unspoken norms that govern their relationship by spending time with someone else at the same time that Mary is seeing someone who used to be Anna’s romantic interest. This suggests that Anna and Mary have broken the unspoken norms that govern their relationship. If I were to date one of my female friends “flings” or former boyfriends, I would be breaking the norms that govern our friendship by doing so. Our relationship is founded on trust, and each of us tells the truth.


Because of their breadth and depth, the many notions and standards of communication that have been discussed are able to represent every aspect of a relationship, which brings us to the conclusion that they are comprehensive. Despite the fact that DeVito brought up a number of various issues, I was not able to effectively integrate all of them into my communication writing since there were simply too many of them. Despite this, I was able to comprehend the basics of each relationship and identify which rules and guidelines would most correctly portray the development or stagnation of each of the six distinct pairings. I was able to do this by analyzing the evolution of each of the partnerships. In addition, I came to the realization that the foundations of any relationship may be split down into the following three categories: There were no two marriages that were exactly alike, not only because they did not share the same history but also because they did not experience the same stages of expansion and contraction in precisely the same manner.


Devito, J. A., & DeVito, J. (2007). The interpersonal communication book.

DeVito, J. (2016). The Interpersonal Communication Book (14th ed.). Pearson College Div.

DeVito, J. A. (2019). The interpersonal communication book. Instructor1, 18.

He’s Just Not That Into You (2009). Retrieved April 23, 2017, from 123movies.html

Trenholm, S., & Jensen, A. (2008). Interpersonal communication (p. 432). New York: Oxford University Press.


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