With the growing housing difficulties in the Western world, shared housing among young adults has been on the rise. This is in response to financial constraints that lead to a combination of resources and the need for a socio-economic contract that entails splitting house chores and living costs. Peer co-habitation is a social way of life that most students in college from late teens to early thirties undergo once in their lifetime. The relationships usually grow into strong social bonds involving trust and mutual support. However, within the close domestic confines, there are higher chances for conflict to arise due to disagreements or incompatible interests that people from different backgrounds have. Consequently, no institutionalized principles guide the sharers, and such uncertainty may also lead to conflict. The social benefits derived from this household are economically pragmatic, where electricity bills, rent, cleaning products, and Wi-Fi are shared. The kitchen, lounge, and bathroom are communal, and the bedrooms may be private. In this discussion, the conflict that arises from sharing households are outlined, and more insight is provided on managing and resolving them whenever they arise. Social dynamics of these non-kin relationships are perceived differently, where a balance exists between acceptable and objectionable behavior across multiple spheres.
Firstly, conflict arises from doing household chores, and research shows it is the primary source of conflict (Mause). This type of conflict originates from unequal allocations of domestic chores in traditional households or family settings. Hierarchical gender roles are irrelevant in shared households among young adults. A housemate who lazes is subject to complaints; in the worst-case scenario, they can be evicted. For instance, freeloaders taking advantage of their housemates by failing to take responsibility for doing house chores such as cleaning communal areas or cooking when they share food contribute to conflict. The challenge of attempting to get housemates to cooperate in house chores can be demoralizing and, to a considerable extent, unsuccessful. Housemates who agree and make plans for doing house chores create an atmosphere of comradery, unity, and social consensus.
Secondly, conflict may originate from different cleanliness, tidiness, and hygiene standards. A rift is inevitable between a clean and tidy housemate and the slovenly. The socially overarching notion of what is considered a norm is important (Put and Pasteels). Housemates are expected to be reasonably clean and tidy, but those who are too demanding in meticulousness and perfection are a potential source of tension. This is because virtual perfection is unrealistic, and such unrealistic expectations are subject to unattainable conditions. People may have a different idea of what cleanliness means. In such instances, a housemate might have some questionable cleanliness standards, like forgetting to put away a teacup or leaving dirty dishes in the sink overnight. Easy-going housemates will understand and are less likely to feel angry because they learn to be accommodative and maybe practice nonviolent communication techniques to prevent the reoccurrence of such behavior. However, minor violations can be contagious as much as unrealistic expectations lead to disagreement (Sousa and Kelling).
According to Clark et al. (A), income levels can be problematic, leading to conflict. It makes students and professionals incompatible as flat-mates given the working party’s power imbalance and higher income discretionary. Students may be subject to miserliness, one of the financial issues that cause conflict between housemates. Frugality is vital because of the scarcity of resources, but miserliness is unacceptable and leads to conflict. Freeloaders taking advantage of others by failing to share costs also contribute to conflict. The housemate, considered a freeloader, uses others’ personal effects and eats their food, making others feel used and manipulated. Students may feel stress when others take advantage of them because they are susceptible to the depletion of resources. Money tends to be less collectively used, but it is significant in shared housing. Communal obligations must be met collectively, and unwillingness to participate can lead to relationship breakdowns. Violating norms in a shared household affects cohesion, such as failing to honor timing to make rent, electricity, and cleaning effects payments (Clark et al.) (B). Other sources of conflict include loud music, infringing on other housemates’ privacy, bringing strangers to spend time in the shared housing, and stealing from the housemates.
Whenever conflict arises, the parties must seek ways to resolve their issues amicably to avoid escalation. Research agrees that communication and collaborating are the best mean of managing and resolving conflict, but some scholars prefer avoiding conflict. The collaborating style of conflict management focuses on finding a suitable solution to the conflict (Balancio). Having an honest discussion with the housemates ensures all the parties at stake are heard. The technique involved listening carefully, looking for alternative resolutions, maintaining a relationship, and creating a nonviolent environment where peers could have open discussions. The advantages of this technique are that everyone’s opinion is considered, and all parties in conflict have an equal chance to negotiate for a satiable solution and maintain the relationship or build one. Housemates can discuss and openly air their issues during dinner and adopt a negotiation technique that is not confrontational.
Avoidance discourse can take two ways; (1) avoiding potential problems by being considerate, tolerant, and sensitive. It entails knowing the right time to be cautious, avoiding interactions, or avoiding adversarial arguments. Awareness of factors that may annoy others or cause conflict is particularly important in this scenario. One minor annoyance factor can be a major source of irritation to another; in that case, a conflict starts. Using avoidance as a technique, housemates desist from vexatious acts but develop intense domesticity. Secondly, conflict avoidance encapsulates glossing over problems by circumvention of the main issue (Clark, Tuffin, and Bowker). This is for housemates who find confrontation very stressful, and to keep their peace, they avoid dealing with the conflict issue. In the extreme, it would lead to the housemate moving out or letting things slide to dissipate tension with time. Avoidance is not the best of techniques because parties to the conflict do not deal with issues head-on, and conflict may escalate in some instances, leading to rivalry or disgust. This method of conflict resolution is effective when someone is leaving, and they are less likely to collaborate in a confrontation.
In conclusion, sharing housing among young adults, especially students, is becoming popular in the Western world. Housing unaffordability has led young adults to make a pragmatic economic decision to share a residence. In close relationships/domestic confines, conflicts occur more often, and the parties involved must devise amicable ways to manage them. Firstly, young adults should recognize different sources of conflict. Primary source of conflict encapsulates doing house chores, where conflict intensifies when a loafing housemate doesn’t want to collaborate in doing housework. Secondly, conflict arises from different cleanliness, hygiene, and tidiness standards. A slovenly housemate will have trouble living with a neat person. Financial issues and different income levels also contribute to conflict. Students and professionals are relatively incompatible because of the financial discretion of the latter. Likewise, freeloading and miserliness are potential sources of conflict. Conflict should be resolved as soon it emerges, and some of the most prominent techniques discussed include; collaboration, where the housemates communicate openly to solve their differences nonviolently to maintain the relationship, or; Avoidance discourse, where the housemate avoids conflict by either being considerate or moving out.
Work Cited
Balancio, D. Managing Conflict. Cognella, Inc. 1st ed. (2018)
Clark, Vicky, Keith Tuffin, and Natilene Bowker. “Managing Conflict in Shared Housing for Young Adults.” New Zealand Journal of Psychology (Online) 49.1 (2020): 4-13.
Clark, Vicky, et al. “Shared housing among young adults: Avoiding complications in domestic relationships.” Journal of youth studies 20.9 (2017): 1191-1207.
Clark, Vicky, et al. “Housemate desirability and understanding the social dynamics of shared living.” Qualitative Psychology 5.1 (2018): 26.
Mause, Karsten. “The Tragedy of the Commune: Learning from worst-case scenarios.” The Journal of Socio-Economics 37.1 (2008): 308-327.
Put, Bart, and Inge Pasteels. “Motivational barriers to shared housing: The importance of meanings of “home” in the diffusion of housing innovations.” Housing, Theory, and Society 39.3 (2022): 257-274.
Sousa, William H., and George L. Kelling. “Of “broken windows,” criminology, and criminal justice.” Police innovation: Contrasting perspectives (2006): 77-97.
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