The main points from the course that I observed in my own family are class differences, changes in family forms, and ways of responding to challenges faced by families. My family was formed by joining the working class which narrowed down their educational choices and career options. However, social movements opened opportunities for many generations within my family who eventually became better educated and more prosperous. In times of crisis such as sickness or job loss, we would always stick together and give each other moral support in addition to sometimes helping in financial terms. We needed to be resilient as we faced various life hardships while maintaining close ties among ourselves. Moreover, my immediate family has become more nuclear-focused with individual goals instead of being huge clans or tribes anymore. This concept is related to the idea of families balancing autonomy and connectedness over time as cultural contexts change according to what was learned during lecture classes on this subject matter.
The structure and choices of my family have also been affected by social class. As Conger et al. (2010) show, there are many ways in which social class influences family life such as partner selection and relationship stability. My mother and father both came from poor backgrounds, but they made education and jobs their way of moving up the social ladder. This has prompted me to obtain a degree in college while I share the same sentiments with my brothers through formal employment. Although we cherished our working-class origins, we pursued middle-class aspirations for our family so that we could enjoy better prospects. However, maintaining that status has been a challenge at times when facing economic difficulties or family health issues as found by Conger et al. (2010). My parents stressed the value of hard work and self-sufficiency to the point of causing stress at times. Both of my parents had to leave school early to start their careers, so higher education was particularly stressful. We went without certain luxuries at times to pay for college. My mother in particular sacrificed personal interests to take on extra work and make ends meet.
Social movements of the 1960s and onward changed societal norms around sexuality, gender roles, and family structures in significant ways experienced by my family. Blair (2019) discusses how second-wave feminism in the 1970s pushed for expanded roles for women outside of just wives and mothers. Inspired by these changing attitudes, my mother pursued returning to college in her 40s for a degree after her children were grown. She took on a new career later in life rather than just focusing on domestic duties. This was a reflection of feminist aims of a wider choice for women. My parents embraced a less rigid attitude towards sexuality and pre-marital relationships due to the effects of the sexual revolution to contrast with their conservative upbringings. This resulted in open conversations about relationships that I did not expect from their generation. Moreover, my mother’s career progression was a model for my seeking success beyond traditional jobs for women.
The approach my family takes in selecting partners has evolved over generations from parental arrangement to individual choice and sometimes cohabitation without marriage. My grandparents had a typical arranged marriage in their culture where they only met once before their wedding day. For my parents, there was more flexibility about dating and selecting mates. Lastly, my age group can opt to cohabit or postpone the idea of getting married legally. Romantic relationships are now less confined by family or societal expectations due to globalization and more emphasis on individualism than before. Such rising autonomy in partner selection mirrors larger trends toward democratic families as well as privileging personal satisfaction over tradition or duty – those who come from Western countries. But it also presents problems when it comes to maintaining links of extended kinship among persons who live in different geographical regions and belong to different generations of people with diverse cultures of life.
Our family went through several crises and difficulties which made it stressful, but at the same time, strengthened as Boss (2020) concluded that families often do. When I was 11 my dad was diagnosed with cancer and that time was one of the worst times in my life. Finally, it pulled our family together because everyone rallied behind my dad as he tackled his therapy and recovery process. There were many years after, my parents had to deal with an empty nest, or retirement to get a new life and to make necessary adjustments. There were more stresses but also new satisfactions of being with their grandchildren without jobs and parental obligations. This is seen in these examples to demonstrate how they grow closer as a family during times of trouble. Cancer experience also prompted my career choice in health care of mine. I shifted household duties to alleviate my mother during my father’s illness. At the emotional level, the waiting and uncertainty affected every one of us badly.
My family has also been entangled in familial discords resulting from drug and alcohol abuse. Some of my uncles have struggled with high levels of intoxication that cause them to become violent towards their wives. However, the women came together and decided not to take any more beatings. Over time, they sought therapy, which helped them quit drinking entirely. My parents kept me oblivious to these realities when I was younger hence only realizing how serious it was as an adult. Nonetheless, I grew up understanding how to stand up against domestic violence through their resilience. A case in point is when we are having a hard discussion in my relationship; we pause for twenty-four hours before resuming it again. Unfortunately, the fear of intervention in addiction caused us to delay addressing it directly and rather stigmatize underlying issues further than necessary. What’s more important nonetheless is that ladies stood together while men began changing once consequences were made clear to them firsthand
In conclusion, some changes affecting family relationships brought by some of the societal transformations over the recent years have indeed been felt in my family systems. How one defines what a family can be based on social movements, shifts in social class status, life with crises, and partner choices for my generation differs from that of my parents. The recognition of issues of diversity and minimum emphasis placed on traditional structures with greater attention on quality of life have collectively benefited my family and helped in survive the period of change. I consider myself fortunate to have encountered the elements of both traditional and innovative family shapes. Even in retrospect, I notice the extent to which my family has become stronger and more resilient, accepting the challenges by being open to each other and supporting each other. The above experiences have given me hope to live with the uncertainties that life brings ahead.
References
Blair, M. E. (2019). “A Dynamic Force in Our Community”: Women’s Clubs and Second-Wave Feminism at the Grassroots. Frontiers: A Journal of Women Studies, 30(3), 30–51. https://www.jstor.org/stable/40388746
Boss, P. (2020). Family Stress (A. C. Michalos, Ed.). Springer Link; Springer Netherlands. https://link.springer.com/10.1007%2F978-94-007-0753-5_1008
Conger, R. D., Conger, K. J., & Martin, M. J. (2010). Socioeconomic Status, Family Processes,and Individual Development. Journal of Marriage and Family, 72(3), 685–704. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2010.00725.x
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