Born in 1967 in Jalalabad, Afghanistan, my name is Sonita Ahmad. The year 1989 marked a pivotal moment as I entered into marriage with a military man, working for the U.S. forces, and together, we navigated the challenges of a nation scarred by the Soviet-Afghan war. Our union became a symbol of hope in a country thirsting for stability. We would not have imagined that our love story would be woven into the unconcealed history of Afghanistan. Being a widow, a mother of five, two boys and three girls, my trip can be described as an adventurous endeavor in pursuit of the safety of my children. My function of being a mother through the years has made my purpose strong, and my love for my family gave me power when I was in trouble.
Nevertheless, I had my life completely transformed in 1995 when I first welcomed my first daughter in the violent city of Jalalabad. Every day had meaning, and I gave my all since loving was part of living. Six years of American reconstruction became my husband’s dedication while our family tried to survive in a changing country. Life in Jalalabad was characterized by violent surroundings, especially as a result of the Taliban’s occupation and their constant resistance against U.S. forces (Ameyaw-Brobbey,2023). This is evident in the difficult times of establishing a nation following conflict. Our kinship gave us an unyielding foundation regardless of the ebbs and flows experienced throughout our Afghan lives.
However, the wind change in Afghanistan led us through the unforeseen upsets that determined our destiny. The occupation and domination of the Taliban rules, characterized by solid Islamic policies, worsened everything in the country and started a new stage of terror and ideology confusion (Bashar,2021). The situation started going downhill after my husband died, leaving me with five children who had to be correctly taken care of, considering the return of the Taliban menace. These were tremendous tasks, and the artwork done to conserve our values and safety was created in unsteady post-war Afghanistan. As a widow and mother in a war-torn society struggling with ideas and normalcy restoration, I was at the crossroads of grief and strength. Each day of motherhood, I struggled to rescue and offer a glimmer of hope to the children in this unknown environment.
As a widowed mother of five Children, I am unable to go back to my homeland due to several reasons that put me and my family in danger. The revival of the Taliban has seen an increased recruitment process, and the young boys have become casualties of the more significant global battles. Boys are the main target of the Taliban in their bid to rebuild their forces, and I am fearful that my two boys will be dragged to a war zone by this ruthless regime. In Afghanistan, It has been a custom that male children should be recruited into the Taliban Army to fight for the country (Kotokey & Borthakur,2021). The fact that my son’s innocence could be sacrificed to ideological warfare and that he can be taken away from the family and thrown right into the middle of it is something that I cannot tolerate.
I am forced not to go back to my motherland since Afghan society has put me on a single dangerous string due to my husband’s relationship with America. The malice of the Taliban started following his commitment that he would help in the rebuilding of Afghanistan. When they were oppressing people, the Taliban used to call those who supported Americans ‘traitors,’ and it meant death for them. Although commendable and out of a desire to reform, my husband’s decision to aid American citizens in rebuilding their country turned our lives into high-risk gambling games. Collaborating with Americans is considered treason against the Taliban’s radical viewpoint (Maizland & Laub, 2021). This includes the likes of my husband and our whole family, whom the Taliban painted as traitors. The merciless punishment for the Taliban is fatal not only to the targeted but also to the spouse or children.
The Taliban’s’ intolerant attitude leaves not a slight chance for ambiguity and comprehension under its crushing dark shade. To us, sending the children back would be a wager of their lives because of the association with the United States via my husband’s honorable pursuits. This is a painful reality forced upon them by unforgiving geopolitics and a totalitarian regime without tolerance for dissent. Hence, our future goes down the alley we follow because of my husband’s foolhardy steps, and their consequences still overshadow us like the sword of Damocles. Therefore, I will always be tied to the erratic behavior of my husband when he was young.
Furthermore, the Taliban are after anyone close to or associated with the American regime to take revenge. It is against their will for anyone to support American forces. Since the U.S. force’s Invasion of Afghanistan in 2001, several men from the area have been recruited to assist in restoring peace, although this has not been achievable (Sakhawarz, 2023). In the husband’s case, he went beyond the customs by working with the American army. Because he is not alive, his family might be targeted to pay the debt, and I will not allow the vengeance to be directed at me and my children. The USA will grant peace to us.
Another crucial reason why it is so impossible to come back to Afghanistan revolves around my three daughters. My dream personified in my daughters has a sad truth ahead of it. Moreover, these policies threaten the destiny of these young girls because the Taliban is highly discriminative concerning the education of girls in particular (De Leede & Brief, 2014). These were times dangerous to women in the former land of light, where women participated in public affairs. Such minor chores as fetching water from a long distance or seeking medical attention are also hazardous with the tight control the Taliban exerts upon the movement of females.
The Taliban dictatorship does not afford women the chance to lead their everyday lives, as it undermines their rights. My daughters may become victims of forced marriages in Taliban-controlled areas. The regime has been carrying out forced marriages to young girls of their choice (De Leede & Brief, 2014). My daughters are not an exception to this brutality. When I figured out this issue, I saw no possibility of returning them to such an environment. The child is further denied schooling beyond childhood and thus deprived of empowerment and freedom. Under the Taliban, young girls aspire to bondage, not improvement and liberation.
I am a widow with five children, and my condition worsens in the ruthless Taliban regime. Going back to Afghanistan as a widow is unheard of since the regime regards me as a female who is an outdated relic that ignored the world’s advancements regarding women’s issues. The Taliban considers working with the foreign companies as treason since they cooperate with the foreign contingent. This puts me, among others, into a very vulnerable position with each day that passes by because their shadow is cast on every activity we undertake. These women are faced with the ghost haunting of their persecution coupled with the negation of the fundamental rights that human beings deserve. This is a deprivation of living and a future filled with oppression, limitations and no respect whatsoever for these girls’ humanity (De Leede & Brief, 2014). My journey in this context becomes a desperate search for survival as I fight oppression against the autonomy of women and spark a small glimmer of light through the impending darkness for my daughters. The risk is further exacerbated as the Taliban establishes authority in some areas. The reprisals for helping in American efforts are also increasingly apparent. Under a Taliban-controlled state, oppressive that is after women and persons related to foreign troops cannot move freely nor enjoy the rights of being an Afghan citizen.
It is not healthy for Afghanistan. The international geopolitical realism challenges the international community. In offering refuge to people who are at risk of being killed in their homeland, all dimensions of holism should be incorporated. The exile I am navigating is indicative of what most Afghan refugees experience as they seek refuge for their families in makeshift homes away from home. The pain, in my mind, is so deep how I long for Jalalabad, a place with memories of our childish laughter in their midst and can recount the birth of our large family! However, coming back home is a terrifying thought—the stain of a love that will never be like before stigmatized all the scenes of our past. The pain of loss makes walking on Afghan soil a painful experience in the sense of not being present in every step (Dabhade). In addition, the current global situation in which the Taliban is back in power with the hardiest practices makes going back to the country a perilous decision. It is not only endangering my life but also may affect my two boys’ and three daughters’ health and performance in the future. However, I could not stand being responsible for keeping and protecting them in those dangerous situations—such critical safeguards as relationships between families and communities in Afghanistan.
The loss of my husband has deprived me of the usual assistance networks, which might have eased the painful blow of grief and brought down its burden on my alone parenting. The journey home will be more complex, considering how conflicts have shattered relationships with those who provide comfort and assistance. In an environment like the current one in Afghanistan, widowed women like me will face a hard life because even the economic state of the country has completely deteriorated. Retaining my residence in America is a good choice as there are many opportunities there compared to my home country.
On the other hand, moving to a foreign country could benefit me and my children. Therefore, the future brings the possibility of developing new support systems for them to survive, having an opportunity to send the children to schools or colleges, and finding ways of self-realization in various fields, which encourages me amidst all difficulties. This friendly ground would help foster healing and the creation of new lives in place of those shattered in the past. This is because selecting to be an American is by the nation’s legal guarantees and principles De (Coninck,2023). The U.S. asylum supports me on a path to reconstruction, as it becomes my first aspiration along the journey. It represents a light at the end of the corridor, filled with concepts of justice, equilibrium and free will, in a world where everyone gets an equal chance to restart their lives. In the USA, my five children will be able to get an education and a quality one. Respect and dignity are highly upheld in the USA especially for someone like me and my children whose husband worked for the American forces.
My achievement is not only individual but also a forceful protest by a strong-willed and spirited Afghan woman against suppressing Afghan women’s spirits. Condemned should be the Taliban’s unjust practice towards my fellow refugees and called for the protection of people caught between conflict and a clash of ideologies. In terms of being the symbol of vulnerability, it is not my widowhood but more than the personal loss of Afghan women. People have been ripped apart by years of brutal war, like a knife penetrating flesh for generations. With the Taliban in the picture today, this ongoing insecurity seems more terrifying as Afghan women are further thrown into uncertainties and dangers(Jackson & Weigand,2019). Taliban rule cast such oppressive shadows on women that they lasted for many years simply because women lost many rights that they had spent their lives fighting for and lived under systematic oppression.
Denying women’s rights is not a bureaucratic misstep in the Taliban regime; it is an evil attack on womanhood itself. However, my problems are much compounded because, to the Taliban, I am one among the “enemy” group who opposes their strict ideological doctrines. This classification is so severe that I cannot walk in the streets freely, go for education, or even look for jobs. Even the most straightforward action becomes fraught with danger in such an atmosphere. In this case, women constituted a social fabric and contributed significantly to the social structure. The suppressing hand of the Taliban is trying to wipe out the steps of today’s Afghan women after having pushed them to the darkness of servitude and fear(Jackson & Weigand,2019). Such suppression affects not only an individual but also all aspects of social life in Afghanistan, taking away from the society’s diversity, resilience, and specific Afghan women’s strength, symbolizing the oppression of women and the fight for their rights in Afghanistan.
My plight is further worsened by the discriminatory policies adopted by the Taliban, particularly concerning the education of boys of tender age. Without education, these innocent minds are prone to exploitation and rip-off, making it impossible to visualize an existence without conflicts (Sullivan,2021). The gloomy menace of forced marriage now taints the path of my daughters toward emancipating education under the dictatorial control of the Taliban. Fear of education, the specter of a dream failing to materialize, and having freedom taken away from us. Women will be restricted in dress, movement and conduct.
This implies that my girls view a narrower horizon of discrimination practice in this sentence. Society puts them through strict rules that do not give them personalities, and they end up marrying Taliban fighters. The aspirations are their birthright; thus, they had the right to dream of being presidents and prime ministers when growing up. I will never get over those forced marriages because they took away my children’s hopes and dreams from me. Women in our regime do not have a right to choose. Hence, I have never permitted my daughters to exercise freedom of choice. To endure such an unfairness, I, as a mother, have no other choice but a tough fight for my daughters’ lives under those suffocating hands seeking to extinguish a bright spark of their strength and power of resistance. In addition, my troubles are on top of Taliban-imposed policies that exclude boys from schools. Such young minds in the shadows of conflict refuse education and make them refuse education and make them imagine tomorrow’s existence in the darkness, apart from being trapped in this darkness.
However, while under the oppressive rule of the Taliban, my daughters’ bright futures toward empowering education are being threatened by forced marriages. Thus, the shadow of their smashed dreams and the death of their freedom means that education should be considered an unhealthy affair. I am a mother of three daughters whose lives are exposed to the Taliban’s strict control on female behavior, movement limitation, and independence, which does not allow my daughters to control their lives and set their direction. Children will not have developed brains or freedom and will be exposed to the possibility of Taliban fighters forcefully marrying them due to strict social norms. Moreover, it robs them of their human rights, which they should enjoy as innocent children (Prantl,2022). This is the ghost of forced marriages that has forever put my otherwise bright future and that of my daughters to rest, and they would have lived their own lives.
In a way, my strength is reinforced by becoming both a mother and a widow for me to be a formidable force against Taliban rule over my little children. I foresee my girls facing denial of education and being forced into marriages. There is no going back since it is an irreversible battle for their safety during the rampant Taliban female discrimination. The air that many young girls, including my daughters, breathe daily depicts them as feeble and unable to combat their state (Prantl,2022). This turns my maternal strategy of survival into a group reaction whereby the group fights against patriarchy that does not allow girls to educate, self-realize, and aspire to follow their dreams. This is how I show bravery towards those systems that want to put away the dreams and voices of Afghan women and my little girls.
My daughters are not just mere victims but symbols of the more significant struggle for traditional rights to freedom, equality, and secure protection of the vulnerable people in the world-disrupted area. The story of why I cannot go back to Afghanistan is my story and the imperative need for global solidarity with Afghanistan as a whole and her people in particular in dealing with various complicated problems facing them.
Another crucial reason that makes me unable to return to Afghanistan is the fact that my husband had already applied for a special immigrant visa while working under the U.S. government. I hope the U.S. will consider my husband’s services a sign of gratitude and give me a permanent resident permit. Returning home is not just about getting physically to Afghanistan; it is an immense struggle. My family’s safety, health and sustenance depend on my new home in the USA. My late spouse started an incomplete application for a special immigrant visa (SIV). Such a state is more complicated than ordinary issues that all Afghan populations face when seeking shelter. It underscores the importance of a simplified visa system in protecting those who have assisted U.S. forces. My story is enshrined in this complicated phenomenon and deserves all the world’s care and action regarding the fate of those between two fires.
My Declaration is more than a tale about my circumstances. This is heart heart-wrenching story that reflects more extensive efforts to establish fundamental human rights, dignity and the security of victimized groups in Afghanistan country. It becomes an essential position for those who want to kill the spirits of Afghan women and destroy the future of kids. My strength is walking through the exile maze, where I am heading. The international community needs to be more vocal against these illegal acts toward women’s rights by the Taliban (Prantl,2022). The discrimination that is deeply embedded in Afghan women’s lives and hopes should be challenged by human rights organizations, governments, and anyone concerned. It is more than that; it is a refusal to be oppressed and an act of support for all oppressed people, especially Afghan females. The world has realized the complexity of problems affecting Afghan refugees. It is now time for all these countries to unite and propose practical measures adhering to such principles as equity and goodwill.
References
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Bashar, I. (2021). Rise of the Taliban in Afghanistan. Counter Terrorist Trends and Analyses, 13(4), 19–24.
Dabhade, R. A. SUFFERING OF THE CHILDREN DURING THE TALIBAN REGIME IN DEBORAH ELLIS’” THE BREADWINNER.
De Coninck, D. (2023). The refugee paradox during wartime in Europe: How Ukrainian and Afghan refugees are (not) alike. International Migration Review, 57(2), 578-586.
De Leede, S., & Brief, I. P. (2014). Afghan women and the Taliban: An exploratory assessment. International Centre for Counter-Terrorism.
Jackson, A., & Weigand, F. (2019). The Taliban’s war for legitimacy in Afghanistan. Current History, 118(807), 143–148.
Kotokey, A., & Borthakur, A. (2021). The ideological trajectory within the Taliban movement in Afghanistan. Asian Journal of Middle Eastern and Islamic Studies, 15(2), 205–219.
Maizland, L., & Laub, Z. (2021). The Taliban in Afghanistan. Council on Foreign Relations, 15.
Prantl, J. (2022). Afghan Mass Displacement: The American Response in Light of International Human Rights and Refugee Law, and the Need for International Cooperation to Achieve a Satisfactory Solution. ALJ, p. 17.
Schwarz, B. (2023). Escape from the Taliban: One Woman’s Experiences in Afghanistan.
Sullivan, C. J. (2021). White flags: on the return of the Afghan Taliban and the fate of Afghanistan. Asian Affairs, 52(2), 273–287.
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