Summary
Dobson discusses many different topics, such as media and pop-culture influence on girls’ self-image, the role of fathers in the upbringing of girls, given that chapters nine and ten are dedicated to the topic, and the role of culture and faith in developing moral attitudes. He suggests how parents can effectively communicate with their daughters, build trust, and create a respectful environment where young girls feel they have all the tools to succeed. One thing that is astounding about the book is Dobson’s sympathetic and understanding attitude towards the topic. He notes that we must know the full spectrum of girls’ facilities, and parents should have directed, sensitive, and compassionate guidance for those who feel overloaded or confused. The constituent theme of asserting the importance of building a solid, loving relationship with a daughter stands out almost everywhere in the book; it aims to bring to readers the idea that parental involvement plays a critical role in female studies. Dobson’s conservative stand on some issues, for instance, gender roles, may be somewhat off-putting to some readers, while others may value his focus on traditional morality and principles.
Concrete response
In my childhood, the expression “prepare properly and patiently because raising girls is difficult” was the most common statement to my parents. I had two sisters separated in age with a maximum gap of two years, and they had different mindsets and personalities during the teenage period. Sometimes, we were excellent but could change and slam doors. They occurred in the presence of our mother but without our father, whom we seemed to fear more than our mother. Dr. Dobson’s parenting book helps parents understand how moms, including our mothers, should handle it. She was mainly furious at our behavior and rebuked us, although she should have rather taught us values, manners, and state of mind instead of being fussy and ill-tempered.
When I turned fifteen, my parents were fully immersed in their careers, and I hit a shallow point in my life because I was missing the parental love. I believed they would realize they had missed me at a particular time in my history, but their minds did not work in that direction. I often wanted them, but they were busy with work. They could have counseled us while we learned about boys and transitions to the real world after high school, but my efforts were in vain. Maternal advice on the social side of life, adulthood duties, and relationships was never addressed by my parents. I took what I could and kept it to myself.
My grandma was someone I could pour my heart out when I needed to talk to, and I felt she was mimicking the role of my parents, who did not. My future husband should not be busy. What I want is a family that has a high regard for their children’s well-being. In addition, I was annoyed at my parents because they were busy with money and did not have time together with me, especially when I was in school or had issues with my friends.
I agree that both parents are necessary to lead a child to have a view of the world during life experiences. The chapter that hit me hard was “Chapter 8: Young Women Talk about Their Fathers,” which reveals that the things women talk about are the things they remember about their fathers, whether good or bad. This chapter makes me realize how important fathers are to their daughters. The fact that you are spending quality time with your daughter will help her change her negative (or positive) perception of life. Doctor Dobson believes that to prevent our daughters from immoral behaviors, we should encourage healthy relationships with them (p. 37).
Reflection
Connecting with my parents has provided the platform for reflecting on my life experiences, and the current class has allowed me to share the same. I was having an issue with my boyfriend and told my parents about it. I felt their comfort and love were terrific. At some point in my life, I have been insulted on the internet and opened up to my parents about it. They were always beside me; they signed me up for therapy sessions until I was okay. They advised me to walk with other friends, ensuring I was always there when I made new friends. Now, they make me choose to be friendlier and talk to maintain friendships. Despite sometimes thinking that opportunity might have been better given my upbringing, I have become a Christian, and my self-acceptance is now at an excellent level. Through my own life, I have concluded that, like Dobson said, one can be changed dramatically. It is necessary to ensure that females know they are loved and show love around them; then, they will know how to show love to others and diffuse situations politely without negative implications.
My father was not in the house most of the time, but he has been there recently, bridging the gap when I have learned a lot from the world. Despite that, with my current age, I can relate to so much in the book and would have felt better in high school. “Bringing Up Girls” could have been an effective tool for my mother to make our father the role model we need. Father and mother would have done things differently if they had only been at home during our upbringing, especially from the social perspective alone. Mothers will not push their daughters into becoming women with low self-esteem, but they will assist them in embracing their roles as women and being known as active, productive citizens worldwide. Regardless of your belief or unbelief, this book provides valuable ideas and practical ways parents may follow to guide the next generation of girls.
Application
“Bringing Up Girls” is an essential book to use as a source when counseling children. As a counselor, it is crucial to remember that each gender is unique, and something that might work wonders for one might not suit another. Adopt a different mentality! They say different mindsets require different approaches. Living applications, which in my case come in a new journey, will allow the young girls to tell the audience how they feel about their fathers, the differences between how they think about the fathers, and they will eventually see if this relationship can be restored. If not, I will encourage them to seek a group of peers to deal with the hall discussion activity. Let them talk in the counseling session. The next step is after they have spoken, which may open them to all kinds of things in their mind and help them set a target to overcome the difficulties. Children need a secure and healthy environment; the guardian or parent should handle the situation because they cannot care for themselves alone.
A new goal that can be set is that our health department can have a class for parents that takes about five to six weeks to introduce Dr.’s book called “Bring Up Girls” for Girls and another book for Raising Boys. These books may also be the court system’s required reading for foster parents whose child is returned. Reading the books mentioned will help parents learn how to train daughters and sons to become mighty regardless of gender and grow up strong, blameless, and confident to triumph in life.
References
Dobson, J. C. (2010). Bringing up girls: Practical advice and encouragement for those shaping the next generation of women. Tyndale House Publishers.
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